11.11.06

Driving Ed 101

Ok here's a crash course in driving manners, these are universally acknowledged manners, and although there is no official rule book to state them, think of them as my guide to telling you how much you stink in driving (left steering wheel countries):

Ch. 1 - Lights:
If you:
1- Use the signal light less than 2 seconds before you change lanes, you stink.
2- Use the signal light less than 5 seconds before you change lanes, you stink.
3- Don't use the left signal when entering a roundabout (circle), you stink.
4- Don't use the right signal when exiting a roundabout (circle), you stink.
5- Flicker the high-beam to mean "go ahead" or "come on up", you stink.
6- Flicker the high-beam to mean anything but "give me way", you stink.
7- Flicker the high-beam to annoy the driver in front of you, you stink.
8- Flicker the high-beam to punish the driver ahead of you, you stink.
9- If you have white light at the back of your car, or connected to the brake lights, you stink
10- Have brilliant blue lights, you stink, they aren't zenon, they won't be, Zenon is a brilliant white. Blue is blue, take them out, they won't make you look cooler, trust me.
11- Have "indoor" lighting, you stink.
12- Have any lighting colour inside your car, you stink.
13- Have red lighting inside your car, call me, I'll shoot you myself.

Red light = Rear side of the car, also brake light and in some silly American cars, it can be the rear signal light.
White light = Direction of motion light, when you see it in your face, the car is moving towards you.
Yellow or orange light = Signal light, if the one to the left is on, the car is going to the left and vice-versa. If both are on, then you should pay attention because something is not right in that car.

There should be no other colours of lights until further notice, if you do have a green or blue light, break it. Pink, purple, same fate. Light under the car, NO, NO, NO!! unless you plan to drive down to hell, then you might need it.

Don't use both signal lights together (emergency light) except in emergencies. If you are shot, a female is giving birth, or maybe if you halted suddenly and you want to be courteous for the person behind you.
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