13.11.06

Driver Ed 102

This is the second part of this series about driving in Jordan, we dealt in the previous part with light usage, today we will deal with changing lanes, please make sure you use the signals when changing lanes:

Ch. 2 - Changing lanes

Don't use the following techniques in changing lanes or streets:

1- You push the tip of your car in front of some other car, so that's he won't be able to pass unless you pass, I will hit you car in a second if you do that in front of me. Also, save yourself the embarrassment of your lane moving and not being able to go back.

2- You think the person in the car you are trying to cut off won't try to go around you because he has a nice car and they won't want to wreck it. Nice cars usually come with insurance and someone like me behind the wheel. I will hit you and your car for that silly assumption.

3- Wave your hand out of the window, there are signal lights use them.

Don't change lanes if:

1- You are trying to go to the faster moving lane in traffic jam.
2- You think you can overtake one or two cars and reach your destination 15 seconds later, It'S NOT WORTH IT.
3- You want to checkout some girl that is in the same rush-hour traffic, if she likes you or wants you, she will open her window and talk to you. If you just wanna stare, DON'T!!!
4- You think you know someone in the other car and try to sneak up to him, especially if you have doubts because the colour of the car or the license plate number changed, IT'S NOT THE SAME CAR!!!

Please refrain from making split seconds changing lane decisions in Jordan for the following reasons:

1- Not all of Jordanians know where you are going or what you planning to do, we have the audacity to presume people will use those yellow things to tell us if you are going left or right.

2- We don't like slamming brakes and trying to avoid your car, I swear the next time you don't try to give sufficient signal and priority to the lane you are switching to, I will crash into you. I checked my air bags and I have two on my side that work, I will not even touch the brake, and it will be your fault and I will fix my car at the dealership on your expense, I have a good lawyer.

3- Brake pads last so short of a time in our hilly and mountainous terrain without your help, I am sick of avoiding careless drivers, my leg hurts at the end of each day.

4- Some people use crappy brakes or don't have quality brake systems because they can't afford it, don't rely on the condition of our roads, nor on our concentration, we have other stuff to worry about.

The reasons I might exempt you from a crash:

1- First and foremost, you driving on the right lane and a taxi driver or a bus driver cuts you off, just to pickup that "bareezeh" or "nos-lairah", in otherwords: " a fare". I don't require much of a warning but common courtesy is still in order.

2- Trying to avoid someone else while they try to crash into you, reflexes are permitted and in some instances encouraged, especially if they situation involves pedestrians.

3- If you are shot above the waste or a female in your car is giving birth, in that case use the emergency light.

The reasons I might step on the gas while crashing into you:

1- If you are the taxi driver or bus driver cutting me off, just to pickup that "bareezeh" or "nos-lairah", in otherwords: " a fare".

2- If you think that your Daewoo, Kia or Hyundai can overtake any car, especially if you drive a Pregio bus, and you make the mistake of zig-zaging between cars behind me and/or in front of me.

3- If you think that Schumacher watches videos of your driving for lessons. I mean thinking you can squeeze in an extra lane or use shoulder of the street as a lane.
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